Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
