they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
