I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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