My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
