Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
