Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
