btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
