I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
