guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
