girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
