Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
