We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
