lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
