He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
