erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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