Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
