I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
