I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Let's paint friendship bongs
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
