Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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