in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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