HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
