This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
