Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
