I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
