Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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