I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
