they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
