So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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