Porn is love you can see.
i was born a porn star she said
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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