Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
