I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
