lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize