I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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