The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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