also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize