You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
