Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
