idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't notice because vodka
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
