omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
