i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
