I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
