I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm too high and old for this...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize