I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
