Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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