found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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