how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
