Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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