The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
