Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
