I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize