I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
