Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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