blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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