she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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