Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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