Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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