she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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