she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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