wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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