..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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