So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
