It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
