Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
