I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
