I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize