if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
