He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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