I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
