Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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