im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
