i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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