Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I love you.
Bad choice
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
