You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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