Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
