Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Randomize
