i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
