so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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