so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
